In my dreams...

Almost every night, in every dream I have, regardless of what I am doing in said dream, my character (me) is always scheduled to leave for China the next day. Any ideas??

Also, in my dreams...I want this super power (watch 'til the end). For many reasons. Not just sleep.

Divorce

I never thought I'd be immune to it...until I met my husband. Soulmates, completely in love with each other, best friends. I cannot begin to explain in words the love I had for Dan. Pure bliss. Dan was always on my side. I grieve that feeling every day of my life.

I react to people's inquiries about my divorce in the same way I react to the inquiries of my brother's death. When I'm feeling brave and honest, I just come out and say it: my ex-husband is gay and my brother committed suicide. You don't have to ask the questions that are in your mind. I have the same questions. And like you, I don't have the answers. Didn't you know? Did you notice in your intimate life? Was your brother depressed? He seemed so together, why did he do it? The answers are always the same: no and I don't know. The answers will never change...although I don't mind people asking like I used to when I would be embarrassed to answer. These days I don't have the energy to be embarrassed and I refuse to taint my wonderful memories by being embarrassed.

I truly don't believe love like the love I had with Dan exists for me in the future. It's impossible. It's not that I'm cynical or a nonbeliever (which often times I am). It's just that I know I will never be in that place in my life again...so much hope, such delight in becoming myself with someone I love at my side, loving so much it hurt. Dan will always be my soulmate. There may be another, there may not. If there's one thing I know, it's that you have no idea what your future holds.

This one made me smile...

...and I am NOT in a smiling mood today.

Courtesy: likecool.com

Sandusky, Cain, Berlusconi

Horrible people.

Shocking Truths

1. Some people are gay. Always have been. Always will be.
2. People smoke pot in every town in America. A lot.
3. Teenagers have sex. Always have. Always will.
4. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up. Like, years ago.

Can we just get over the above things and move on? Especially #4.

In My Dreams

The following three dreams are dreams I have on a regular basis. Feel free to skip reading this post because it sucks to have to listen to other people's dreams.

1. Jen, Seja, Amy, Wendy, and I are going on an international trip- usually to a very Eastern-bloc kind of place (and sometimes North Korea). Everytime I have this dream, something prevents me from going- I forgot my passport, the streets flooded and I couldn't drive to the airport, I couldn't get to the gate in time, etc. Only ONCE have we all actually made it to our destination. It was Italy. I desperately want to go on a international trip with these gals!

2. I am swimming in a deep pool full of large marine animals like whales and manatees. I have to touch the bottom of the pool with my feet before I am allowed to get out. NOTE: I am terrified of deep water with large marine animals.

3. Justin Bieber and I are dating. He is really into me.

When thinking about writing this blog, I decided to check out one of Bieber's videos. The one of the only song of his I know. I like this song and I am proud to admit it.

Back by a Lack of Demand

Haha. I'm back from my weeks-long hiatus from the world of the internets. Beginning of school + work + Dan leaving + moving to a new house = being lazy any second I get a chance (thus, no blogging). I know all three of you have been disappointed! I'm sorry.

Quick update: quit my job to return to school full-time to finish this master's degree once and for all. Last day is Sept 30 and I feel very good about the decision despite the thousands of dollars I will go into debt.

Boy Crazy

Feeling a little boy crazy lately. I blame him:

I'm probably the only girl in the world who watched "The King's Speech" and then subsequently became boy crazy. Maybe not.

I am also realizing that I am probably feeling a little boy crazy because I actually have time to be so. No school + baby daddy in town = me actually able to leave the house in order to just have fun.

Image via Google Images

Shut Up, Jacqueline!

paper procrastination + no cable + no working DVD player = 500 posts in one night

Have I Peaked?

So my cousin Emily has this theory that everyone peaks in life and then they continue to wear whatever was in fashion when they peaked. One summer when I lived in OKC, Emily and I hung out a lot. We often sat in the mall and guessed when the shoppers "peaked" based on what they were wearing. Yes, mean, but also really fun!

So here's my worry: the other day I received a Garnett Hill catalog. Three things suprised me:

1. That I even RECEIVED it (how did I get on their mailing list? I must be on the "about to turn 35" mailing list)
2. That I then OPENED it
3. And lastly, that I actually LIKE some of the clothes

Uh oh. I think I have peaked. Please, please, please, someone confirm that this is a cute dress:

One other thing: I bought some shorts at Old Navy and I opted for the 7-inchers instead of the 5-inchers. Double uh oh.

Now That I Know What to Read (Thanks Oprah!)...

I just COULD NOT figure out what to wear to work this morning, so I called Rachel Zoe.

I asked, "Rachel, what should I wear to work today? My black turtleneck sweater, my other black turtleneck sweater, my gray turtleneck sweater, my camel turtleneck sweater, my white cardigan, my black cardigan, my light gray cartigan, my dark gray cardigan, my camel cardigan, or my cream cardigan?" I think she tried to shoot me through the phone.

Photo credit

By the way, I actually went with my gray v-neck sweater (and no make up- oops!)

I just don't know what to say...

My name is Jacqueline and apparently I think I have interesting, witty, smart things to say (hence the blog). I admit it; I am a know-it-all. Very bad personality trait. I am always thinking thoughts that I think would be “perfect” for a blog. A tad self-assured, eh? Oh well.

So, here I am, on my own blog with all the space in the world to say anything I want. I need my first post to be charming or articulate or funny, but…nothing. I got nothing. So I decided that writing a blog must be like getting up in the morning or going to work out: getting started is the hardest part.  

My goal is to post at least three times a week because the most annoying thing about blogs is that so many aren’t updated. That makes me waste a whole millisecond of my life that could have been devoted to sleep. So blog-writers, please update your blogs!

Coming soon: the cast!